So as we were sitting in Fethiye working up plans to get to Cyprus we failed to learn a few key things about the place. The most important of these is that Cyprus is not half owned by Greece and Turkey, it is its own country that has a sorted past of being fought over. Since 1974 Turkey has occupied the northern third of the island. The rest of the island is controlled by the Republic of Cyprus. This is called the "Cyprus Problem".
Quick interuption...I should mention I am typing this out on my iPhone at 3:30am on a flight to Nairobi with the oddest mix of folks I have ever encountered on a plane. Including the Kenyan national soccer team, some crazy OCD guy, a dozen or so Italians, half of which sat on the wrong seats, and two eastern european girls who I'd peg as strippers (at best) if I were in the states. And those are just the people within a few rows of me.
Due to the Cyprus Problem flights from Turkey are only allowed to fly into the Turkish-occupied side. As such, we landed at Ercan airport and proceeded through customs. Yup, even though we came from Turkey to a Turkish occupied area we had to go through immigration. Why? No clue.
Keep in mind when we arrived in Cyprus we were already in a foul mood given the 3 hour bus ride from hell in the middle of the night, having haggled with a cabbie to drive us to the airport, and finding out we needed to be at the other terminal 2km away 35 min before our flight was departing. Fortunately, there were no problems with the flight and we arrived in Cyprus safely.
We collected our bags and headed out to rent a car. Guess what... there is one company and they are out of cars. Alright then we'll just take the bus to town. Oh, right no bus. Only a $30 cab ride. Perfect! So we get some cash at the ATM and head to find a car rental in town.
After finding a car rental agency, picking out a car, negociating a rate, singing and paying we find out we can't take the car over to the other side. Cyprus problem! By the way, while we were renting the car I realized I left my ATM card in the machine at the airport. Who's havin' fun? This guy!
After canceling the car and getting our refund for the car we head out to deal with the ATM card. After buying a phone card, waiting in line at what might be the only working pay phones on the Turkish occupied side and being disconnected a few times, I finally cancel my ATM card.
Now, we strap on our packs and head for the UN controlled green line (i.e., the border). After a couple km hike we cross over to the other side and were pleasantly surprised by how much nicer and cleaner it was. Things were looking up. Quick fact, Nicosia is the only remaining divided capital in the world.
After a quick visit to the tourist office we rent a cute little green Ford Festiva; freedom at last. But for one little hurdle...steering wheel is on the right. I always imagined I'd take my first attempt at driving on the left in some small, quiet town. Nope, it was straight into the thick of it, driving a manual to boot. While Nicosia is no Cairo or Bangkok it's all of Minneapolis. With Marisa's deft navigation and my fairly solid driving, 20 mins later we had done it, we were on the highway headed for Limassol.
As we headed toward Limassol, a city we were recommended to stay in, we felt much more relaxed with the earlier troubles behind us. The weather was nice, we could see the ocean out the left side of the car and we had a destination. Then we pulled into Limassol. We were stunned. As it turns out all on the towns on the ocean in Cyprus are giant, ugly scars designed for one purpose...fleecing Europeans on summer holiday.
Fortunately or unfortunately, we were there during the winter season. And the winter season in Cyprus is the "dead season" not the "low season". There were huge hotels closed. I mean 400 room resorts that didn't have a light on. Streets of restaurants that were just all closed. It would be like if you pulled into Cancun an only 1 in 5 hotels were open and those only had 10% of the rooms full. Needless to say we got out of there ASAP. We headed for Pafos further down the coast.
We arrived in Pafos to find it's the same crappy summer tourist spot. Now, mind you, if we were looking for a summer vacation of laying around a pool and getting hammered at the local bar, this place would be great. After driving around to about a dozen empty hotels, we finally found one that understood the supply-demand curve and had properly priced their rooms. Funny thing was, there were about 100 old german tourist staying there too. And ironically we liked having them there as it made the place seem like it wasn't so dead.
We awoke the next morning in a much better mood. We were determained to make the best of our Cyprus time. We checked out of the hotel deutschland and pointed our little car toward the mountains in the center of the island. After a couple hour drive we were in the heart of the Cyprus wine country, which is quite large and well established. We popped into a little winery and smapled their selections: not too bad.
We then proceeded to head up to a little town called Osmodos. After making a loop around the tiny, charming little village set on the side of a mountain we proceeded to head down a "street", which kept getting narrower. Finally after making a couple of corners and pulling in the side mirrors we decided we were offically screwed! We couldn't go any further and the only way out was to back out the way we came. If only it were so easy.
It took us nearly two hours of Marisa directing and me working the clutch and e-brake. There were honestly times were we were not inches, but millimeters away from the stone walls on either side of the car. How we got it out of there with only a tiny little scratch (that Avis never noticed) is beyond me. The pictures below don't even come close to showing how tight it was.
As we pulled out of the "street" we noticed a blue sign with a "T" were the horizontal part was red. We surmized this was the "don't drive down here" sign. The strage part of the whole ordeal was that not one person walked by during our little driving exhibition.
It was now about 2 in the afternoon and we needed to find our place to stay for the night. After safely parking the car in a giant parking lot on the edge of town we asked a couple of locals if there was a hotel around. Turns out there as one and they wanted $150 for a very nice room. Despite the zero percent chance anyone other than us was going to stay there that night they didn't want to even consider lowering the rate. So we moved on.
We drove through 3 more towns. And not one of the dozen hotels we drove past were open. We were back to hating Cyprus, as we elected to drive back the 2 hours to hotel deutschland. On the way back we elected to hit McDonald's for dinner. If there is one thing you can trust to always deliver, regardless of where you are, it's a good old Big Mac and fries!
Day 3, we were armed with a list of top ten things to do in Cyprus from our friend Daniela who LOVES Cyprus. After visiting a few ruins we headed back to Nicosia. We handed over the car and checked into a nice, little hotel. We headed out to walk around the town and knock off a few more of Daniela's top ten.
After a couple hours of walking and looking at some things we settled into a nice, hip bar. Marisa wanted to have a frappe (ice coffee drink), which was on D's list to do. One frappe, one beer, 2 bottles of wine and sitting through a full soccer local soccer game on TV (with all the locals cheering around us) we were warming up to Cyprus. It was the best 4 hours on the island yet!
We spent the next day just walking around. Hit the market, had a nice mezze (a bunch of small plates) lunch and generally just chilled out. We then headed to the airport to get the heck out of Cyprus.
Overall, our time in Cyprus didn't live up to the hipe. We gave it several tries, but it just didn't happen. That said, had we been there in the spring, summer or fall we would have likely had a different experience. In the winter, the only place worth visiting on the island is Nicosia. It's the only city that actually functions without tourists.
The only sign of real design anywhere near the coast.
Some church on the coast
Osmodos, where we got the car stuck, it was a charming city
Screwed!
Still screwed.
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